Thursday, November 6, 2008

Unyielding Commissioning Gets Enlightened a Bit

Missed Him and Will Miss Him More - Ever heard of Nathaniel Mayer? I hadn't, but over at HearYa, they tell the news of his passing this week. With a rasp that would make Tom Waits blush, and fuzzy blues riffs that would do the same to the Black Keys, he's right up my alley. Check out "Lonely Man" over here, and judge for yourself.

Someone's Been Eating My Porridge - And it's the Country Bears! You may remember a few months ago, we examined the actors most devoted to their paycheck, or at least with the most egregious examples. Well, now Mental Floss gives you the chance to guess which awful movies actually featured Christopher Walken (our #2 biggest Paycheck Hound), and which did not. He's got that many duds. I scored 15/18, see if you can beat it.

Mo' Music! - Check out the newest, latest, greatest music and entertainment website, Shockhound.com. They've got loads of music for sale, reviews, t-shirts, and your own customizable community features. Definitely an interesting new endeavor.

I can't pronounce it either - Sigur Ros has a new video. It's all very film school senior project, but the song's great! Check it out at Stereogum. They also have a new Smashing Pumpkins video I couldn't manage to get to play. But you can give it a shot if you're inclined.

Speaking of Grant Park - Lollapalooza also rallied and has signed a 10-year contract. Let's hope they can get their act together in coming years and not rest on their laurels. This past summer's was easily the worst (in terms of music anyway) of the four so far.

Proudly Standing Up - Roger Ebert laces into George Bush for appointing Lee Greenwood to a six year term on the National Council of the Arts. Then he backs things off a bit and gives Mr. Greenwood some marginal credit for living a long ass time. I've said this before, but Ebert's really hitting his stride as a blogger, even if he goes too light on the snark sometimes.

This List Is Overrated - Scene Stealers list this week is the Top Ten Overrated Films of all time. As you might imagine, it's generating a lot of discussion. Gladiator, the most overrated entity on the planet, only made the honorable mention list. Just a reminder, I recently posted a Top Ten of my own over in those parts. Considerably less commentary on that one. Go leave a note if you're bored or somethin'.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Dr. Strangelove Drops the Bomb on the 2008 General Election

It seems like three or four years ago now, but back in March, we took a look at the presidential primary race through the Dude’s sunglasses, reviewing all the quotes, incidents and worthwhile happenings. A couple months later, we compared the candidates to professional wrestlers. With the election set for Tuesday, we’d be remiss if we didn’t give this another go. And because so many moments have delved into the absurd, the movie that most aptly sums up the general election season is Stanely Kubrick’s Dr. Strangelove: Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb. Two warnings: this is kinda long and my photoshopping incompetence persists. Anyway, without further ado, let’s see what happened. On with the quotes!
“Your Commie has no regard for human life, not even of his own. For this reason men, I want to impress upon you the need for extreme watchfulness. The enemy may come individually, or in strength. He may even appear in the form of our own troops. But however we must stop him. We must not allow him to gain entrance to this base. Now, I'm going to give you three simple rules: First, trust no one, whatever his uniform or rank, unless he is known to you personally; Second, anyone or anything that approaches within 200 yards of the perimeter is to be fired upon; Third, if in doubt, shoot first then ask questions later. I would sooner accept a few casualties through accidents rather losing the entire base and its personnel through carelessness. Any variation of these rules must come from me personally. Now, men, in conclusion, I would like to say that, in the two years it has been my privilege to be your commanding officer, I have always expected the best from you, and you have never given me anything less than that. Today, the nation is counting on us. We're not going to let them down. Good luck to you all.” – It didn’t take long once it was clear that Obama was going to sew up the Democratic nomination. The right wing immediately picked up the most extreme of Hillary Clinton’s attacks, trying to paint him as some nefarious outsider. Obama’s a Muslim. Obama’s not a real American. Obama’s a community organizer! And most recently, Obama’s a socialist. It looks like it’s not working out any better for McCain than it did for Hillary.

“I know how it is, baby. Tell you what you do: you just start your countdown, and old Bucky'll be back here before you can say ‘Blast off!’” – When Hillary Clinton began her speech at the Democratic convention, lip readers could easily note Bill’s “I love you, I love you, I love you,” presumably directed in her direction. Was it just for show like Buck Turdgidson’s efforts to placate his secretary? Only Bill knows for certain.

“He said war was too important to be left to the generals. When he said that, 50 years ago, he might have been right. But today, war is too important to be left to politicians. They have neither the time, the training, nor the inclination for strategic thought. I can no longer sit back and allow Communist infiltration, Communist indoctrination, Communist subversion and the international Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.” – General Ripper’s ideological, paranoid ramble used to justify the attack that really sets things in motion is oddly comparable to Mitt Romney and Rudy Giulani’s aggressive speeches at the Republican Convention. Romney especially blamed all of society’s ills on Liberals who were hell-bent on the destruction of the United States as we know it. Coming from Rudy, the pro-choice, thrice-married former mayor of New York City, it was especially ironic.
“Well, I've been to one world fair, a picnic, and a rodeo, and that's the stupidest thing I ever heard come over a set of earphones. You sure you got today's codes?” – Trying to steal some of Obama’s thunder from the his big speech at the Denver convention, the following day, John McCain announced his running mate, Governor Sarah Palin. From Republicans not named Bill Kristol, the response was generally, “Wha…?” From Democrats, “You’ve gotta be kidding me. High fives all around!”

“If the pilot's good, see, I mean if he's reeeally sharp, he can barrel that baby in so low... oh you oughta see it sometime. It's a sight. A big plane like a '52... varrrooom! Its jet exhaust... frying chickens in the barnyard!” – Turdgidson’s excitement over the potential bomb run without perspective of where he was or whom he was talking to was matched by die-hard Republicans who immediately fawned over Sarah Palin after her convention speech. As time passed, they either rallied all the more or saw that the emperor had no clothes. Well, ‘cept for those clothes that cost 150 grand…

“I told you never to call me here, don't you know where I am?... Well look, baby, I c-, I can't talk to you now... my president needs me!... Of course Bucky'd rather be there with you!... Of course it isn't only physical!... I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you Mrs Buck Turgidson!... Oh, listen uh, you go back to sleep hon, and Bucky'll be back there just as soon as he can... All right... listen, sug, don't forget to say your prayers!” – Turdigson’s attempts to convince his secretary to take it easy and allay her fears are oddly reminiscent of the McCain campaign’s approach to the disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporters. Suddenly Republicans were lauding Hillary as though they’d always been huge supporters, claiming she'd been jobbed out of the nomination and going as far as nominating a woman for Vice President with the main purpose being to pick up female votes.
“Well, boys, I reckon this is it - nuclear combat toe to toe with the Rooskies. Now look, boys, I ain't much of a hand at makin' speeches, but I got a pretty fair idea that something doggone important is goin' on back there. And I got a fair idea the kinda personal emotions that some of you fellas may be thinkin'. Heck, I reckon you wouldn't even be human bein's if you didn't have some pretty strong personal feelin's about nuclear combat. I want you to remember one thing, the folks back home is a-countin' on you and by golly, we ain't about to let 'em down. I tell you something else, if this thing turns out to be half as important as I figure it just might be, I'd say that you're all in line for some important promotions and personal citations when this thing's over with. That goes for ever' last one of you regardless of your race, color or your creed. Now let's get this thing on the hump - we got some flyin' to do.” – In efforts to pump up Sarah Palin’s foreign policy credentials, Cindy McCain went on ABC News and said, “Remember, Alaska’s the closest part of our continent to Russia.” It seemed somewhat ridiculous, but it somehow became a talking point, even coming directly from the Governor’s mouth when she spouted, “As Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska.” It also led to this wonderful image from “the mind of Sarah Palin”:
“Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops. Uh, depending on the breaks.” – Trailing by only a bit, the McCain campaign not only decided they were going to start playing hardball, they announced to the press that they would “go nuclear” on Obama and start an all-out attack. Apparently they didn’t learn the lesson of the Democratic primary when Hillary Clinton announced the “kitchen sink” strategy. The negative campaign blitz harmed McCain even more than it did Senator Clinton.

“Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.” – Originally, this quote was assigned to the infighting that was rampant in the Clinton campaign in the second half of the democratic primary, but now we’ve seen even worse incidents coming form the republicans. McCain staffers have referred to Palin as a “diva,” claiming that she has “gone rogue.” Later, staffer Nicole Wallace was thrown under the bus for clothesgate.

“Based on the findings of the report, my conclusion was that this idea was not a practical deterrent for reasons which at this moment must be all too obvious.” – For a reason still unkown, considering the ton of the rest of the campaign, McCain chose not to go after Obama’s pastor, Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Could it be because Sarah Palin has her own preacher problems? Or perhaps they felt it would be harder to play up the Muslim storyline at the same time? Still, for all of Obama’s “questionable relationships,” this one seemed like the most obvious to utilize. The man God-damned America, for Pete’s sake!

“Well, boys, we got three engines out, we got more holes in us than a horse trader's mule, the radio is gone and we're leaking fuel and if we was flying any lower why we'd need sleigh bells on this thing... but we got one little budge on them Rooskies. At this height why they might harpoon us but they dang sure ain't gonna spot us on no radar screen!” – Originally, Peter Sellers was to have four roles in the movie, but couldn’t manage to get the folksy voice down for Major T.J. “King” Kong. Instead, Slim Pickens stepped in and nailed the part. In her vice-presidential debate performance, Palin did her best Pickens impersonation. While some right wingers saw starbursts, most people wondered why she was talking like that.


“You're gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.” – The most absurd comment in the movie, outrage at the destruction of a vending machine’s changebox, goes to the most absurd outrage of the political campaign. When Obama talked about putting lipstick on a pig in reference to McCain’s economic plan, the Republicans stamped their feet and tried to imply that he was talking about Sarah Palin. For the most part, the public didn’t buy it.

“I think you're some kind of deviated prevert. I think General Ripper found out about your preversion, and that you were organizing some kind of mutiny of preverts. Now move!” – Colonel Bat Guano is certain that Ripper and Mandrake are up to some sexy shenanigans, when reality couldn’t be farther from the truth. Well, OK, if Ripper had his way, maybe not, but regardless, the McCain camp tried to claim that Obama wanted to teach small children “comprehensive sexual education,” even though that didn’t meet with reality. It was an overreach that harmed them greatly with voters.

“Stay on the bomb run, boys! I'm gonna get them doors open if it harelips ever'body on Bear Creek!” – The plan to attack Obama as voraciously as possible was put in place immediately, and most wingnuts, particularly the crew at Fox News stayed on script. But at times a few people went too far. Most notably, Liz Trotta who joked that it would be a pretty cool thing if the man was murdered.

“Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.” – In the primaries, once Obama’s message of “change” caught on, Hillary tried to co-opt it for her campaign. It didn’t work. The McCain group went one step farther rebranding their team as “Change You Can Believe In,” directly lifting the words from Obama’s brand, and showing the same kind of envy for the enemy Turdgidson admits to under his breath.

“Mein Führer! I can walk!” – The biggest “ooops” comment of the movie was easily surpassed by Joe Biden who began (and ended) his own presidential campaign by calling Barack Obama “clean” and “articulate”. Recent blunders also include referencing a restaurant that doesn’t exist, stating that Obama will be tested immediately in office, and talking about President Roosevelt going on Television during the Great Depression.
“Hello?... Uh... Hello D- uh hello Dmitri? Listen uh uh I can't hear too well. Do you suppose you could turn the music down just a little?... Oh-ho, that's much better... yeah... huh... yes...” – The most hilarious and ridiculous phone call of the movie goes to Sarah Palin who earlier this week was pranked by a Montreal radio station. Just listen to it.

“Our source was the New York Times.” – In a portion of her disastrous Katie Couric interview, perhaps for fear of answering “incorrectly,” Sarah Palin couldn’t name a single newspaper she reads.

“Mr. President, it is not only possible, it is essential. That is the whole idea of this machine, you know. Deterrence is the art of producing in the mind of the enemy... the fear to attack. And so, because of the automated and irrevocable decision-making process which rules out human meddling, the Doomsday machine is terrifying and simple to understand... and completely credible and convincing.” – William Ayers, the most oft-uttered talking point from the right wing, didn’t exactly instill the fear in the public that the Republicans had hoped. Perhaps we’ve become inured against such tactics after eight years of Bush/Cheney.

“Ah, oh, no... well, I don't think they wanted me to talk really. I don't think they wanted me to say anything. It was just their way of having a bit of fun, the swines. Strange thing is they make such bloody good cameras.” – John McCain was at his best when telling stories from the past, particularly when discussing his time in a Vietnamese prison camp. In fact, the biggest thing working against him and in favor of Obama in this campaign is that he is a storyteller. McCain loves to talk about things that have occurred already and does so with considerable charm. But at a time when most Americans are wanting to move forward, it doesn’t rally the electorate. And Obama was just better at talking about the future.

“Mandrake, have you ever seen a Commie drink a glass of water?” – An odd question that seems to have no place in the debate, and the fact that it implicitly references how the water gets to us means that we now get to hear from “Joe the Plumber.” “Joe” suddenly became the attention of millions of Americans thanks to McCain dropping his name at the third debate. Of course, Joe was really a Republican and really had little to say when he went on TV. But at least he held a press conference. That’s more than we can say for Mrs. Palin. Just today, "Joe" has declared Barack Obama a traitor. His presence also reminds us of this fifteen year old Onion story.

“General Turgidson! When you instituted the human reliability tests, you assured me there was no possibility of such a thing ever occurring!”
“Well, I, uh, don't think it's quite fair to condemn a whole program because of a single slip-up, sir.”
– Quite surprisingly, there have been many Republicans coming out to endorse Obama. None more notable than Chris Buckley, son of William F. Buckley. For the endorsement, Buckley was fired from the National Review, the magazine founded by his father. After towing the party line for so long, jumping ship is the ultimate taboo and a slap in the face of the system that got us to this point in history.

“If you don't put that gun away and stop this stupid nonsense, the court of Inquiry on this'll give you such a pranging, you'll be lucky if you end up wearing the uniform of a bloody toilet attendant.” – After gun-control issues harmed the Democrats in 2000 and 2004, they have largely tried to avoid the issue this year, and have done a decent job of it. But Obama did make a rather large blunder by claiming that some voters choose against their own self-interest because they “cling to guns and religion.” This statement harmed him both in the primaries and in the general election. Without it, his lead would be larger.
“Mr. President, if I may speak freely, the Rooskie talks big, but frankly, we think he's short of know how. I mean, you just can't expect a bunch of ignorant peons to understand a machine like some of our boys. And that's not meant as an insult, Mr. Ambassador, I mean, you take your average Russkie, we all know how much guts he's got. Hell, lookit look at all them them Nazis killed off and they still wouldn't quit.” – The derisive comments in a moment of otherwise civil discourse with the Russian ambassador reflect the same tone and attitude that led McCain to avoid eye contact with Obama in the first debate and call him “that one” in the second.

“Well, he just went a little funny.” – Similar to Ripper’s brain, the economy went a little funny, impacting the election greatly. McCain was in trouble already, but when the stock market crashed, it was something he had as much control over as Dimitri.

“Mr. President, we must not allow a mineshaft gap!” – The panicked reaction of the McCain campaign during the financial collapse led to a “suspension” and threats to postpone the second debate. And it does a fair job summing up their approach the whole thing. Always following Obama’s moves, playing defense the whole time, and generally trying to counter Obama’s moves rather than making their own, the mineshaft gap has been the difference in the election. If the polls are right, we’ll see the election of a new party on Tuesday. It’s obviously incredibly important, but you have to admit that this has been the most fascinating election you can recall. From start to finish, it has been hilarious, outlandish, thought-provoking and above all, passionate on all sides. America’s ready to make amends with itself, regardless of who wins on Tuesday. But you can bet on this, your grandchildren will ask you where you were, what you thought, and how it all went down. See you at the polls!


Thursday, October 30, 2008

Unyielding Commissioning Fights The Law

Baby You Can Drive My Car - Mental Floss has a quiz based on cars named in song lyrics. Kinda neat. I think I aced it, but it's been a week and I can't remember. How's you do? Also, while we're at it, here's a Beatles quiz. Not only did I not ace it, I flunked. Bad.

Wistful Thinking - I'm starting to get a little worried about Roger Ebert. Not because there is any kind of decline in his work - on the contrary, his blog has been truly amazing as of late. But because he seems to be so focused on summing up his life. Like he's writing his electronic memoirs or something. First he very thoughtfully contemplates his life without a voice and the nature of communication itself. Then he lays out his ethical ground rules for movie critics. My favorite bullet point:

Beware of verbal parallelism. Never make a statement such as, "I like women in real life, but I didn't like 'The Women'." Readers may write you sharing that they loved "JFK," but they fly out of O'Hare.
The whole thing is definitely worth a read whether you ever want to review a movie or not. Whoops, just broke Rule #1!

Down the Youtubes - Well, it took a really long time, but they've finally done it. MTV has put together a relatively decent video site. Go here to check out thousands upon thousands of your favorite videos. I highly recommend this classic. Or if you're up for something more blatant, this'n. Seriously, though, say goodbye to the rest of your day.

Classical but not classic - But I'm not sure. Yo Yo Ma and Andrew Bird diddle around on their instruments a bit. I guess it's something.

Watch for the Wrath of Wesley - For some strange reason, the Chicago Tribune has named their 25 worst TV shows of all time. First of all, just 25? I could give you 100 in a few minutes. Secondly, Mr. Belvedere? I'm not going to try to tell you that it was the greatest show in history, but it was fifteen times the show that, say, Just the Ten of Us was. Also unfairly maligned, The Ropers. The show had no business existing, but Normal Fell is always a good time. Plus, to condemn shows that were only on for five episodes is kinda dumb, especially when Melrose Place is sitting there, unnamed. Seriously, when you go to name the worst musicians of all time, you don't talk about the guy in your cul de sac who plays in his garage on Saturday mornings.

What in the Heck's a Barack Obama (from The Onion)

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

5-4-T: Underrecognized Albums of the 1990s

It's easy to look back fondly on the music of the 1990s. Firstly, for me, it was my high school and college years, which made gave every musical note more weight. But more significantly, it was a time when the fans began to exert their power over the radio station programmers and record companies. They had no idea what hit 'em. And yeah, we had to endure Collective Soul and Creed piggybacking on the alternative boom, but after the thin decade that was the 1980s, we were bestowed a wealth of innovative and powerful music. Still, some have slipped through the cracks of history. I've never liked the term underrated, because it all depends on who's doing the rating. So, in this week's Five For Tuesday, we look at the five most underrecognized albums of the 1990s - the albums that may not have influenced an army of indie rawkers, but nonetheless were brilliantly of their time

Honorable Mentions:
Antenna - Sway
12 Rods - Split Personalities
Mr. Bungle - California
Blinker the Star - August Everywhere

5) Pond - Rock Collection
Pond is a band whose career lasted the entire decade and then abruptly stopped. After a somewhat flat second release, their third album, Rock Collection, was their quirkiest with various unnamed, bizarre tracks and an opening song that starts before you're even ready, surprising the listener immediately. Whether you’re into quirks or not, the album remains brilliant. It lopes along in a casual way, but has hooks buried beneath the surface of nearly every tune. Surpassed in the mainstream by bands doing similar things in far less compelling ways like PUSA and Weezer, when Rock Collection failed to sell (I still see this record at used CD stores all the time), the band called it quits. Chris Brady went on to form Audio Learning Center and released another solid record, but I’ll always look back at what might have been had people been paying more attention.

4) Quicksand - Slip
Walter Schreifels has reunited his bands The Gorilla Biscuits and Rival Schools, but unfortunately the reunion that would be truly exciting has yet to be announced or even hinted at. Many bands are labeled post-punk, a term that means many things to many people. But nobody in the genre ever put together a record as loaded with songs both punchy and brainy. To this day, and despite many solid efforts, this album has never been surpassed. Between Alan Cage’s thick but precise drumming and the powerful wall of fuzz on every track, it’s a record that still cooks. In the summer of 1993, they opened for Anthrax and White Zombie. That lineup made no sense, but in its day somehow existed. But really, who else was Quicksand going to open for?

3) Digable Planets - Blowout Comb
This jazz-hop group scored a surprise mega-hit with 1993’s Rebirth of Slick (Cool Like Dat). On their second album, they ratcheted up the atmosphere and pumped in more intricate rhythms, leading to rave reviews. When shopping at Dr. Wax records in Evanston one day, I asked an employee what he thought of the new album, “It’s the best hip-hop record I’ve ever heard.” “Really?” “It’s the best hip-hop record I’ve ever heard.” He was emphatic, and he was pretty close to right. The lyrics may not be profound or as clever as on their first album, but the musical innovation easily makes up for it. But with the hip-hop world being drawn to the gangsta style of Tupac and Biggie and no catchy single akin to Rebirth of Slick, few paid the record any attention. Tribe Called Quest and De La Soul weren’t exactly burning up the charts anymore either and their mainstream relevance was also lost to the cultural trends. I was lucky enough to snag 2nd row seats to a Digable Planets show around that time, and while the Dr. Wax guy may have been overrating the album just a bit, I can safely say it was one of the best sets I’ve seen by any band in my life.


2) Swervedriver - Mezcal Head
I’ve already written somewhat extensively about Swervedriver here this year. I covered their entire output and then reviewed their Metro show. But if any band was more underrecognized in the 1990s, I haven’t heard of them. Mezcal Head races out of the gates and doesn’t relent until Track 9, the slow groover Duress. With Adam Franklin displaying mastery of his guitar, the 90s fuzz pours out of the speakers on every track, but pops with an energy that no other “shoegazers” could match. It’s an album I’ve listened to probably a thousand times and still feels fresh as the day it hatched. Swervedriver never made the big time, nor did anyone from their specific style of indie fuzz rock, but the style of clamor was borrowed for multi-platinum records for bands such as Smashing Pumpkins, The Verve, and Foo Fighters. Of all the bands doing it, nobody did it better than Swervedriver done did it on this album.


1) Blind Melon – Soup
Blind Melon will always be known for two things. First, for their smash hit single, “No Rain.” Second, for the heroin overdose of lead singer Shannon Hoon. The single that spawned their success could easily be labeled cute, and the video, complete with dancing bumblebee girl, would be, uhhh… double cute. Instead of resting on their laurels and putting out a record with more cute singles, the band put forth a far more creative effort, lyrically, vocally, and musically. Genre-bending roots-rock with real soul and fat production, the album grows on you with each listen. This was music that nobody else was making at the time, with only occasional hints of grunge guitars and flashes of the spookiness that showed up on so many other albums. The record was delayed due to Hoon’s stint at a rehab facility. He died just months after it hit stores. Adding to an already tragic story, Soup remains generally undiscovered by fans and critics alike. Incidentally, Greg Prato of AMG agrees with me. Give this one a spin if it's been a while.



So which great underrecognized 1990s albums did I forget?

Monday, October 27, 2008

One Word Review: Grand Theft Parsons


57: Anachronistacular

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Thursday Youtube

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Unyielding Commissioning Braids Its Hair

The Bloom is Off - The new GNR album, Chinese Democracy arrives exclusively at Best Buy on November 23rd. However, you can listen to the first single, also titled "Chinese Democracy" right now! Just click here. Didja listen? What did you think? It's better than anything by The Darkness. Is that a compliment? Honestly, I thought it was way better than I expected. That's right. It was mediocre. Greg Kot agrees, but isn't as nice about it. At least it reminds me of Klosterman's hilarious review (note the date, please). That's gotta count for something, right?

Top o the Topps - Levi Stubbs, the lead voice behind legendary Motown group The For Topps passed away the other day. They were probably never in my personal, principal tier for Motown work, but they definitely led the second. I could go on, but Dan said it way better than I could hope to, so check out his writeup while I go listen to "Bernadette" for the 17th time today.

Ridin' Around Town like Mike Gravel
- Jens Lekman sings his song "Black Cab" in the back of an actual black cab. And the only instrumental backing is one of those thumb pianos.

Walkin' Around the Park like Mike Gravel - The Verve's latest video from their album Forth is kind of boring. At least it matches the song. Yet, I link anyway! Check it out.

Leaving The Lights On Tonight - Also, here's Eric from Scene Stealers' Top Ten Scariest Movie Themes.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

5-4-T: Because They Can

In honor of the release of Oliver Stone's W., in today's Five For Tuesday we look at the rich and powerful villains in the history of cinema who have no qualms about stepping on the little guy in pursuit of greed and lust for power. Now, Stone's film paints a more dunderheaded, sympathetic character then the scoundrels we'll see here. But he fits the profile nonetheless. So, without further ado, let's check out some evil-doers.

5) Bob Gunton as Warden Norton - The Shawshank Redemption
Warden Samuel Norton: I'm sure by now you've heard. Terrible thing. Man that young, less than a year to go, trying to escape... Broke Captain Hadley's heart to shoot him, truly it did. We just have to put it behind us... move on.
Andy Dufresne: I'm done. Everything stops. Get someone else to run your scams.
Warden Samuel Norton: Nothing stops. Nothing... or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the guards. I'll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and cast you down with the Sodomites. You'll think you've been fucked by a train! And the library? Gone... sealed off, brick-by-brick. We'll have us a little book barbecue in the yard. They'll see the flames for miles. We'll dance around it like wild Injuns! You understand me? Catching my drift?... Or am I being obtuse?
Warden Samuel Norton: [to Hadley] Give him another month to think about it.

4) Klaus Kinksi as Aguirre in Aguirre, der Zorn GottesDon Lope de Aguirre: I am the great traitor. There must be no other. Anyone who even thinks about deserting this mission will be cut up into 198 pieces. Those pieces will be stamped on until what is left can be used only to paint walls. Whoever takes one grain of corn or one drop of water... more than his ration, will be locked up for 155 years. If I, Aguirre, want the birds to drop dead from the trees... then the birds will drop dead from the trees. I am the wrath of god. The earth I pass will see me and tremble. But whoever follows me and the river, will win untold riches. But whoever deserts...

3) Daniel Day Lewis as Daniel Plainview in There Will Be BloodDaniel Plainview: I have a competition in me. I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people.
Henry Brands: That part of me is gone... working and not succeeding- all my failures has left me... I just don't... care.
Daniel Plainview: Well, if it's in me, it's in you. There are times when I look at people and I see nothing worth liking. I want to earn enough money that I can get away from everyone.

2) Ronny Cox as Vilos Cohaagen in Total Recall
Technician: Sir, the oxygen level is bottoming out in Sector G. What do you want me to do about it?
Vilos Cohaagen: [as if obvious] Don't do anything.
Technician: But they won't last an hour, sir.
Vilos Cohaagen: Fuck 'em. It'll be a good lesson to the others.

1) John Huston as Noah Cross - ChinatownNoah Cross: See, Mr. Gitts, most people never have to face the fact that, at the right time and the right place, they're capable of... anything.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

One Word Review: 21



50: Ponderous