A Huge Pile Of Unyielding Commissioning

So it's been a while since we linked to anything. You're getting a boatload today, people. Dig in!

Even the losers get lucky sometimes - Scene Stealers drops another great list: Top Ten Oscar Nominated Movies With Zero Wins.

Take the test - In the lead-up to the Oscars, the gang over at Mental Floss did a series of movie quizzes. Try Gone With the Wind (I got 7/16), The Good the Bad and the Ugly (10/15), Quiz Show (9/16), or The Big Lebowski (do you have to ask? - wait a sec - 10/12 - whaaaa?)


OK, there's some TV we actually like around here - More quizzes! From Arrested Development, name all the Bluths in four minutes. I forgot about one and forgot the name for another. It hasn't even been that long! Simpsons Guest Star quiz (13/15 - rats!). A Mr. Burns Quiz (8/15 - hard!). I hope that leaves you quizzed out.

Still waiting for the real version - The Onioin's AV Club does an in-depth review of Eyes Wide Shut. I haven't seen this film since the theaters, but I still believe it's underrated. Great job by Scott Tobias in this trip down memory lane.

Two Thumbs Up - Roger Ebert looks back on his memories of his old friend Gene Siskel. That one's a great read. Another strong one is his recent declaration that he's done with snark. Good luck with that, Rog. Wait a sec, that was kinda snarky. I apologize.

A Small Victory - Holy Crap! Faith No More is back together and playing a show in Europe. It appears that this reunion will be without guitarist Jim Martin, but that's hardly a surprise. The other bands at this festival generally suck ass, and I have to think that they are only there for the paycheck. Sharing a stage with Korn and Slipknot? It just seems so beneath them. I should note that FNM was always much bigger in Europe than in the US. Their performance headlining the 1995 Phoenix Festival in Stratford on Avon, England remains one of the greatest shows I've ever seen, thanks in no small part to a gigantic field full of insane fans. Also, one of the first things I ever wrote in this here blog was a defense of the band against claims that they spawned all the horrendous bands that, uhhhh, appear to be playing this same festival.

He solves problems - Want some new tunes? Having a party and in need of some jams? Head over to Mister Wolf's Mixtape Mania for a frequent update of the latest rock and roll for your soul. Seriously, check these mixes out. Here's hoping Mr. Wolf keeps turning it up!

5-4-T: Kickass Covers That You Forgot On Your Stupid List

There have been a ton of lists published in the last few years containing the "top cover songs of all time". In this week's Five For Tuesday, we include songs that belong in high esteem in any discussion of covers, but were not mentioned on hardly any of those lists. So have at it!

5) Faith No More - War Pigs


4) Alkaline Trio - Exploding Boy


3) Otis Redding - A Change Is Gonna Come


2) Jimi Hendrix - Like a Rolling Stone


1) Stevie Wonder - We Can Work It Out


What overlooked covers did we forget???

Unyielding Commissioning Hits It And Quits It

Records For Sale - WLUW is no more (at least in its old format). But the people who gave us all the great tunage over the years (now called CHIRP) are still pursuing quality independent radio endeavors. Support them on April 12 and 13 at their 6th annual record fair at the Pulaski Park Fieldhouse.

A Small Victory - Long ago, one of the first postings in this space defended Faith No More, lauding them far above all the awful rap-rock they unfortunately inspired. The good folks at AMG have put together a concise history of FNM frontman Mike Patton. Worth reading.

Streaming Again - Tapes 'n Tapes' new album, Walk It Off, is available for your perusal once again. Click here. The album is 0fficially released next Tuesday. They play Metro on Friday w/ White Denim.

Top Ten Great Movies No One Should Have To Watch More Than Once

Dr. Seuss Pleads - Stop Making Movies About My Books!

In Defense Of: Faith No More

Sandwiched in between Glam Metal and Nickleback-style Post Grunge, horrendous rock music took a brief foray into the world of Rap Metal. Noisemakers such as Jimmy’s Chicken Shack, Biohazard, Kid Rock, and, those cheaters Limp Bizkit bombarded airwaves, high school locker rooms, and fraternity parties everywhere. The lack of talent collectively possessed by these bands was truly appalling. Yet, young folks in need of inspiration to “break stuff” were able to overlook the sheer awfulness of this musical movement and mosh in their living rooms. As it goes with every genre of music, the end resembled the beginning on an esthetic level, but not on a musical one.

In this case, the beginning was Faith No More. I’m sure some would try to say that Aerosmith and Run DMC doing a video together was the genesis of Rap Metal, but I would say that was more Rap Blues. Calling Aerosmith “Metal” is a bit like calling Shaquille O’Neal an actor. They may have a Metal name, but they’re really a fat, black center. Thanks to Jim Martin’s crunching, edgy guitar work and Mike Borodin’s pounding beats, Faith No More was undeniably Metal, despite Roddy Bottom’s orchestrated synthesizer strings. After going through a series of vocalists, their first true frontman was Chuck Mosely. While Chuck does truly sing on some of the songs from those first two albums, all of their strongest early tracks featured Chuck rapping. When he crooned, he sounded more like a drunken Wesley Willis.

Faith No More would have most likely just been another solid, California band had they not chosen to kick Mosely out. The result of that move was to pick up 20 year old Mike Patton. On their next release, The Real Thing, Patton continued Mosely’s rapping style, but also displayed his superior chops. See below. It’s Rap. It’s Metal. It’s Fat Dr. Dre and Ed Lover:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qiFr7qpQZlo

The Real Thing was a landmark album, and the songs still hold up today. It featured by far their biggest hit in “Epic” (yes, the one with the fish). They went on to top that effort with Angel Dust. A creative masterpiece whose lyrics covered such topics as blow jobs, redneck suicidal fathers, masochistic masturbation, and “Crack Hitler”. On those two albums, they managed to perfect the Rap Metal genre. And while Rage Against the Machine managed to give it a solid go, recording two fairly good albums themselves, no one else even came remotely close to what FNM accomplished.

Many of their followers like Limp Bizkit and Kid Rock have claimed Faith No More as an influence, and ended up seeing far greater commercial success than Faith No More ever attained. The public was inundated with garbage from carpetbaggers with no discernable musical ability. Jim Martin was kicked out of the band, and their style became less distinctive. Patton would later show off his remarkable talent in various endeavors, but never really return to the style that put him on the map. Now they are largely remembered as the band that led to late 90’s awfulness. If they can be condemned for anything it is that their forays into the bizarre tacitly endorsed lyrics that seem unimportant, allowing songs like “I’m a Cowboy, baby,” to become massive hits. But that’s hardly their fault. All they did was make the two best Rap Metal albums before anyone else even got started. Talented bands chose not to go there because there was nothing left to prove. So we ended up with garbage.

PS – if there’s anyone who believes Kid Rock is anything but a talentless carpetbagger, check out The Polyfuze Method sometime – if you can stomach it.