Thursday Youtube

This one's awfully genteel, no?


This one, too... kinda.

Unyielding Commissioning Gives An Explanation Two Stars

Everybody Is A Star - Roger Ebert tries to give some insight into why he rates movies too highly. Honestly, I have long thought Ebert to be the greatest film reviewer in history. I realize that we're kind of in "tallest midget" territory here, but the man has an undying love of the genre, an impressive knowledge base, and he's a damn fine writer to boot. Even though he's the best, he certainly throws out the three-star ratings far too often. It's evident if you read his stuff on a regular basis. But his explanation here comes off more like a bunch of excuses, and you can tell that his heart really isn't into it. He's long lamented his star ratings and his thumbs, but I'm sure they've been a major part of his success. It's always easier if you explain yourself at the outset, right? Then you have a clear definition of criteria. Speaking of which, where the hell are those One Word Reviews anyway? For now, you can peruse the complete list here. But I promise they will be coming back soon. Some things got lost in the move and I have to track down the master file. Yes, we've got hundreds more. Stay tuned.

The Ugliness Is Its Simplicity - Over at The Movie Blog, they report on Forbes Magazine's list of Hollywood's Top Ten Overpaid Actors. The analysis is a complete joke in that they only used a limited sample of films, and didn't account for anything (advertising, quality of film, co-stars, etc.). Perhaps someone with some statistical expertise could put something worthwhile together. Stop pointing at me, I don't have time. Not right now. OK, maybe I'll give this a crack someday. Even though I called it a complete joke, you're interested in seeing who's on it, aren't you? Go click.

You've Been Wrong All Along - Ten Movie Misquotations. The Mental Floss gang pretty much nailed this list. Worth checking out if you're anal like I am.

Baby Don't You Cry - Mental Floss covers the Wah Pedal. Like, really breifly.

Screamin Brothers - (Sorry my lead-in titles suck today.) Eric from Scene-Stealers gives you the Top Ten Corporate Greed Movies. As usual when Eric does these things, it's pretty impecable.

Unyielding Commissioning on C*$@% F&#!~@^$

I'm Just Talkin' About Shaft - 11 Words that Sound offensive, but aren't. If the title isn't compelling enough on its own, just trust me that this is not only enlightening but wildly hilarious. And if you don't believe me, may your home be overrun with cockchafer.

Suddenly I Realize - Greg Kot weighs in on Epiphany, the newest club opened by the Empty Bottle folks. Actually, he goes in to the history of the Empty Bottle and how the little guys are thriving while they stand up to the Wal-Marts of Chicago Rock N Roll. Reading that, for some reason, my mind wandered to long-ago radio ads for the Thirsty Whale, a club I never visited that no longer graces the Chicago scene. However, you can reminisce about the club and its demise which was likely due to its reliance on glam rock because they have a tribute website. When L.A. Guns and Trixter went belly-up, so did the Whale.

Hit Me - Roger Ebert was physically attacked by another critic at the Toronto Film Festival. Ebert, in case you haven't heard is still recovering from various ailments and can't even speak, let alone wrassle in the ailes. I have no worldly idea who Lou Lumenick is, but apparently he bopped Ebert for rather nebulous reasons. Even though I know nothing about the man, and because I originally misread his surname as "Limerick", here's my take on the situation:

There once was a man from New York
From his picture, he sure seems a dork
Roger gave him a tap
Which caused him to snap
Now Chaz may give his knees a torque

Wish You Were Here - Crooked Fingers has a new album to be released on October 7th, and you can check out one of the tracks, "Phony Revolutions" on their myspace page. The production level seems more suped up and it features an appearance from the mariachi trumpet that was employed on 2005's Dignity and Shame. They're on tour opening for Okkervil River and will hit Metro on October 14th. Just one of many shows I already regret missing down here in Argentina. Maybe this is the album on which they really break through? Frontman Eric Bachmann always delivers live, by the way. (Though if they never make it, it only opens the door for a potential Archers of Loaf reunion tour, right?) Also, Okkervil River asked him to cover one of their new tracks. He obliged. And here it is! His version of "Bruce Wayne Campbell Interviewed on the Roof of the Chelsea Hotel, 1979":

Unyielding Commissioning Defends The Urban Achievers

The gang at Mental Floss has been speaking our language lately. So we're just going to run the voodoo down quickly for ya. The first four links come from them.

Ten Crazy Music Managers - just what it sounds like.

Me Quiz - a fun little movie quiz about movies with "Me" in the title. No, there's no Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, but there should be.

Flangers and Phasers - an understanding of Flangers and Phasers, complete with audio clips. A bit basic, but enlighening if you had no idea what flangers and phasers were before. I didn't. See, I'm not such a know-it-all soemtimes. This is about audio recording, by the way.

The Ultimate Spinal Tap Quiz" - They had the penultimate one earlier which was rather easy. This one's a bit tougher. Betcha can't get a perfect score. I got a 6. Therefore the review of my output is a mere two words: Shit Sandwich. I think my performance was affected by the little bread.

Randall's Top Ten Descents Into Madness - Um, also just like it sounds. Kudos for including The Wall. But there are some good ones absent. Decide it yourself.

Decade of The Dude - a Rolling Stone article claiming that The Big Lebowski has hit its stride now, ten years after its initial release, because he is finally the man for his time and place. He fits right in there now. Well, permit me a rebuttal. I remember seeing this movie and laughing my ass off at times while the rest of the theater remained silent.

There's nothing profound about this article to me. It all rings true - only in ideas many have long thought about for ten years now. Even as I first watched the thing, I realized that there was a lot I could learn from The Dude. Like many, I have worked hard at cultivating my inner Dude - ironic though that may be. I know some Coen Brothers fans who claim that while The Big Lebowski is an excellent romp, there is no substance to it. Its staying power proves otherwise, and in that regard, I agree with this article.

The thing that's wrong about columns like this is that they talk about the fan mania as though it is suddenly significant. The true story is the "why behind the buy". There is a reason why people are obsessed. Greene touches on this, but incorrectly put it into today's terms. These fans have been around since the movie's theater run. If anything, their organization and ubiquity are solely because of things like e-mail, the internet and iPods. The Dude-heads I know have felt this way for ten years. It has nothing to do with our time or our generation. We don't idolize the Dude. We may find him endearing, but really, it's just that the movie is so goddamn hilarious.

Those prices are just too high - Caught this movie on TV the other night. I had forgotten how hilarious it is. Without context, this clip may make no sense, but do yourself a favor and go out and rent Used Cars starring Kurt Russell sometime. They don't make movies like this anymore.

Lollapalooza Sunday

This review obviously comes much, much later than it should have. But I moved to another continent so this blog is still in bounceback mode. Please forgive the delay. I promise to try to be snide in as funny a way as I know how.Despite some major high points, on the whole Lollapalooza had been a bit lacking after Saturday and Sunday. I couldn't quite put my finger on the problem. Probably a combination of the lack of pleasant surprises on stage and the sellout crowds that overstuffed Grant Park. I was determined to make the most of Sunday and I managed to catch at least a portion of 14 acts, so these blurbs will generally be short and sweet in the interest of my time and yours.

I had high hopes for Ha Ha Tonka who, at their best, sound a lot like Kings of Leon. While they sounded very much in tune, they were awfully vanilla. I'm sure it's hard to be first up on the last day and all, but if they brought the rock a little harder, they'd be a far more compelling act. There's potential there, but that's all we were left with.
From there, we messed up. Wanting to see Octopus Project, we went to the wrong stage. This would not have been a major gaffe, except that one of the bands due to perform on that stage canceled and they never bothered to tell the audience that was gathered there. After fifteen minutes of watching a roadie tap each drum, as roadies often do, a dude in front of angrily muttered to his girlfriend, "Forget this - let's go see Octopus Project." Wha-huh? We felt pretty stupid, so I at least took a picture of the non-announcing roadie:

I think that one dude's already asleep!

Missing the first half of Octopus Project's set proved to be a major mistake. Musically, they're a bit all over the place and feature a theremin played pretty much as well as a theremin can be played - artfully interesting. On some tunes, they rocked out with some serious crunch to their sound, and that's when they were at their best. It was a shame we missed so much of their set. They wanted to play one last song that reportedly only lasts two minutes, but the powers that be cut them off. The next band didn't start playing for at least seven minutes. Booo Lollapalooza!

The Blakes brought some fuzzy, blues-influenced rawk - and the two dudes out front looked rather fuzzy themselves. It was all pretty straight - kinda uninteresting, but it felt good. I don't know if that makes any sense. There was no climactic finish. Maybe they were high.
I previewed Wild Sweet Orange by saying that they are so from Birmingham, Alabama. Seeing them live, I didn't have much to say. They didn't leave much of an impression. My notes actually say: "They sounded fine I guess."

It was far less intense than this photo makes it out to be. Yes, I realize this isn't a very intense photo.

What Made Milwaukee Famous sounded somewhat on, but play just way too cheesy, sentimental wimpy stuff for me.

I think I was in kind of a sucky mindset because when The Whigs began their set I wrote, "I'm already bored." But then we moved closer to the stage and everything suddenly got better. With My Morning Jacket-esque vocals, pounding drums and garage-rawk strumming, the band made for a winning combo. With each song, the crowd got more into the set and the band brought more fire. Definitely a happy highlight.

Drummer Julian Dorio resembled Animal - right down to the crazy red hair.

Eat Drums!

The first thing I wrote about Brazilian Girls was, "I'm bored already." Unlike The Whigs, the situation did not improve. Everything was just ridiculously slow, boring and uninspired. Perhaps if you were closer and could apprecaite the crazy outfits, it was more worthwhile. I swear I heard lead singer Sabina Scuibba say "This is a song about the slowest orgasm I ever had. It goes waaaaaahhhhhhhhh wahhhhhhh." Or maybe that's just how it felt to me.

Nicole Atkins sports a good voice, though she goes in for the warbling too often for my tastes. Unfortunately, the songs weren't anything to write home about. She's cute, though!

Even though all of Amadou & Mariam's songs kind of ran together, they each were driven a great beat - like each tune was pushing forward. The blind, married couple stood beside each other during the entire set. It was cute. The smallish crowd had a ton of fun, dancing and clapping along the whole way. A conga line that grew to ridiculous proportions was surely dorky, but the kids had fun with it anyway. I somehow didn't condemn the practice.
Eli "Paperboy" Reed's music is part Wilson Pickett, part Sam Cooke and nothing else, but what's wrong with that? Seeing his act at a smoky club late at night would be more atmospheric than late in the afternoon in Grant Park. The bigger problem was that the mix was way too low on the guitars and horns. Eli's voice isn't strong enough to carry everything on his own. He carries his guitar with him the whole set, but rarely plays it. It's more of a prop. Eli needs to work on the showmansihp thing a bit, but he's going about it the right way. My exhuastion was becoming palpable at this point, so perhaps there was nothing Eli could do to wow me anwyay.
From the shady grass somewhat near the stage, Saul Williams sounded like he was breaking down musical barriers. Worried I'd just run out of gas, I jumped up and over to the stage. Then a slower song went on for too long and all the energy dropped out of the performance. The place was packed, and Williams probably should have been on a bigger stage, especially on "rap day." His female vocalist was voliently out of tune. I mean, someone should have killed her mic. This was not intentional. Directly in front of the stage seemed like the place to be. People were going nuts up there, particularly on "List of Demands." They closed with a horribly out of key cover of Sunday Bloody Sunday. Trimming the fat out of this set would have resulted in a brilliant half-hour. He should have gotten BSS'd.
When the Girl Talk set began, we had 3 tall dudes wearing Notre Dame hats directly in front of us. None of them danced a step. It was brutal. Of course, the area was packed, so we had to make a forceful move to get away from the trio of stringbeans. Once we did, all was right in the world. Everyone (aside from those three Domers) was really getting down. Gillis is amazing in that forces me to like songs that I detest. That's right. I danced to Whoomp There It Is with no regrets. I'm even writing about it.

Greg's in there somewhere

Way better than the smushy mess at Pitchfork last year, this was a jumpin', laughin', clappin' good time. Too many dancers on stage actually bent the platform. Good thing Gillis was the last artist to perform ont he Citi Stage. He closed the set by tossing an inflatable boat on the audience and jumping into it. What's more smiley than that?

Look at these happy people!

I really wanted to take in the set by The National, but Girl Talk was such a blast, I didn't get over to the north end of the grounds until their set was at least half over. I set up for Nine Inch Nails and took a load off for twenty minutes. From where I sat, The National sounde fantastic. The rockers were rockin' and the others were slick. Also, I finally figured out why some dorky people talk really loud. It's because they're afraid of making eye contact so their heads are not pointed in the direction of the person listening to them. Yes, that's quite the non-sequetur, but it's part of the Lolla experience. Nerds!

Nine Inch Nails opened with 1,000,000 which got everyone all crazy. 80% of the crowd were pretty intenst fans, with the other fifth mainly there out of curiousity. At this point, I had kind of forgotten what I wanted from the performance. I'm a devout fan, but haven't yet dug through Ghosts I-IV. I guess I was hoping for more of the classics.
So I don't know whether it's just me, or not, but it seemed pretty clear that Terrible Lie was the pinnacle of the set with Wish and Head Like a Hole not far behind. The middle of the set had a roughly 20 minute segment where various songs from Ghosts were performed with Piggy in the middle. It was a major downer, and for much of it, the band performed from behind a screen. So we weren't hearing anything catchy or heavy, and we couldn't even see the performers. This would have been bad at a club show, but at the end of a three day festival, it really didn't play well. Still, when they played them, the rockers fucking kicked. Trent Reznor tossed guitars and mic stands across the stage and ended up with a bloody hand for his trouble. Along with many of the die-hards, I found the strength to jump my ass off for just a few more tunes. The encore closed with Hurt and Reznor explaining that his voice was not at its best. I didn't really notice. A NIN show where they play even a handful of the songs I want to hear is still a win (and a handful was really all we got). Not the best I've seen them, but still brought some much needed intensity to day 3.
All in all, It was a relatively uninspiring Sunday. Girl Talk and NIN saved the day from being pretty much a waste. This is definitely the weakest overall Lollapalooza since the brough the festival to Chicago. There were high points, but few pleasant surprises. My top ten in order: Rage Against the Machine, Explosions in the Sky, Girl Talk, Yeasayer, Radiohead, Okkervil River, Nine Inch Nails, Gogol Bordello, Bang Camaro, The Whigs. The fact that I had to think hard to get to ten speaks volumes. Do I fly back from Argentina for the festival next year? Leaning towards Pitchfork instead, actually. See you then!

Triumph at the RNC

Bonus Thursday Youtube

From last night. In Minneapolis. Right about when Governor Palin was making with the funny stuff. Tip your waiter.

(HT: Byronne)

And the doughy Republicans thought they were pumped up last night. Go America!

Thursday Youtube

One of my favorite movies meets one of the stars of this year's Pitchfork Festival. Be patient with these. They're worth your time:

RIP Jerry Reed

He had a long and fruitful career in both music and movies, but I will always think of Jerry Reed as the scalawag Coach Beaulieu in Adam Sandler's The Waterboy. He passed away today from complications from emphysema at age 71. Godspeed, Jerry.
His spot-on performance as Beaulieu sets the tone at the outset of the film:

And here's his biggest hit - Amos Moses:

Unyielding Commissioning Did It Better

Agreeing in Principle - In today's IMDb Daily poll, they ask their users to rate the most shameless of Entertainment Weekly's 25 "I Did It For the Money Roles." Well, we took on this subject in this space a couple months ago without the knowledge of the EW list's existence. They did this near the end of March. Who knew? The EW list follows:
1. Robert De Niro in 'The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle' (2000)
2. Richard Burton in 'Exorcist II: The Heretic' (1977)
3. Ben Kingsley in 'Bloodrayne' (2005)
4. Tony Curtis in 'The Bad News Bears Go To Japan' (1978)
5. Dennis Hopper in 'Super Mario Bros.' (1993)
6. Peter O'Toole in 'Club Paradise' (1986)
7. Orson Welles in 'Transformers: The Movie' (1986)
8. Judi Dench in 'The Chronicles of Riddick' (2004)
9. Michael Caine in 'Jaws: The Revenge' (1987)
10. Demi Moore in 'Striptease' (1996)
11. Laurence Olivier in 'Clash of the Titans' (1981)
12. William Hurt in 'Lost in Space' (1998)
13. Faye Dunaway in 'Supergirl' (1984)
14. Richard Pryor in 'Superman III' (1983)
15. Christopher Walken in 'Kangaroo Jack' (2003)
16. Jeremy Irons And John Malkovich in 'Eragon' (2006)
17. Buster Keaton in 'Beach Blanket Bingo' (1965)
18. Ben Affleck in 'Paycheck' (2003)
19. Elizabeth Taylor in 'The Flintstones' (1994)
20. Cuba Gooding Jr. in 'Chill Factor' (1999)
21. Matt Dillon in 'Herbie: Fully Loaded' (2004)
22. Marlon Brando in 'Superman' (1978)
23. Bill Murray in Garfield (2004)
24. Jason Alexander in 'Dunston Checks In' (1996)
25. Sean Connery in 'Never Say Never Again' (1983)
While there criteria was slightly different, we still have a few words here. We've already detailed the reasons, but no sellout tops Michael Caine's in Jaws: The Revenge. By his own admittance, he did it solely for the money. To include Peter O'Toole's Club Paradise role at #5 while there are four other more egregious sins right there for the taking is a major error. Connery should be pegged for other movies than a Bond reprise. I'm sure the cash was nice, but he did that one for his ego more than anything else. Chill Factor may be horrible, but Dady Daycamp surely must be above it. Finally, where is Jon Voight??? The Karate Dog? Baby Geniuses 2? They gave it a decent effort, but as per usual with EW, they didn't put much thought into this.

Doesn't Quite Go To Eleven - Challenge yourself with this Spinal Tap quiz. I got nine out of ten and will now punish myself by listening to heavy metal in Dubly.

You're The Man - Check out Eric's Top Ten Political Movies.

Another Legend Passes - Lost in all the hubub surrounding the deaths of Isaac Hayes and Bernie Mac, famed producer Jerry Wexler died two weeks ago at the age of 91. One of the founders of Atlantic Records, he produced songs by Aretha Franklin, Ray Charles, Wilson Pickett and many other R&B stars of the era. You may remember his character depcited in the movie Ray by Richard Schiff (on the left in this photo). I could go on, but I'll let the article linked above do the talking. Jerry was long retired, but he gave us a lifetime of music. He will be missed.