OWR: Napoleon Dynamite

65: Lucky

First Blush: Bloc Party - A Weekend in the City

Bloc Party’s debut CD, Silent Alarm, took the indie rawk work by storm. You’ve heard it, and you either like it or love it. It's a bright, politically-minded, exciting piece of work. Their new album came out yesterday, and I just picked it up ($7.99 at Circuit City this week if you’re looking for a deal). I’ve heard none of the new tracks so far, so this is really my first experience with the album. But hey, enough of my yakkin’; whaddya say? Let’s boogie!

Track 1 – Song for Clay (Disappear Here)
0:10 such a sweet little opening. Kele Okereke is falsettoing it up with a few chords and synth strings.
1:03 Drums, drums, drums!
1:08 Now we’re talkin’. It’s like a heavy Falco!
2:20 This is a kickin’ chorus. I can’t tell what Okereke is saying. Awhwaahh awhaahhh. It sounds like the dying giraffe call from the South Park Movie. Also, I think throwing the word “freeway” into any chorus is an inherently great idea.
3:44 “East London is a vampire, it sucks the joy right out of me!” I’m gonna have to hear this again to get that one.
4:21 Coming off the chorus, we get Falco again with “Disappear Here” repeated. Well, this track is awesome. It’s very Interpol-esque, and driving.

Almost on queue, between tracks, Landon Donovan just scored a sick goal vs Mexico. I had to pause the CD. Sorry. I’m already messing up the initial First Blush of my blogging career. I have turned off the TV now.

Track 2 – Hunting for Witches
0:01 A little, well, scratching? It’s like Squarepusher, but not any good.
0:35 I think their remix album got to them a bit. This is a silly opening
1:15 It’s a bit spooky, but sinister enough that it has an edge as Okereke croons “Are they hunting for witches?”
2:00 Lots of electro strings on this one. They’re sounding a bit too poppy
2:29 Now we’re gunning for a movie soundtrack.
3:25 More Squarepsuhery stuff. I’m not impressed with Track 2.

Track 3 – Waiting for the 7.18
0:01 – Feels obliquely like “This Modern Love” at the outset. I’m smellin’ what you’re steppin’ in. Tell me more!
1:03 – Like M83 with a hard beat. Matt Tong is kickin’ it fast here. (M83 remixed The Pioneers on the Silent Alarm remix album, maybe there was some ruboff.)
1:46 “Spending all your spare time, trying to escape with crosswords and sudoku.” Um, not sure what this one is about, but I am curious to see how the hell that fits into anything.
2:13 I’m digging these choruses
2:34 Takin’ it up a notch! (“Let’s try to write him on the weekend”)
3:34 Just noticed that my case is already broken. You know the peg that holds the disc in place? It’s busted. I want my eight bucks back…
4:07 Birdies tweet! Great chorus, boring verses.

Track 4 – The Prayer
0:01 Boom-thwack! boom-thwack-boom-thwack! boom-thwack-boom-thwack!
0:11 Something must be yummy: “Mmmmmm….”
0:43 Speedy beats. This is pretty much techno. I don’t know if they played a guitar on this song.
1:56 “Is it so wrong to crave recognition?” Um, you guys have been plenty recognized. But now of course, I’m just being an internet bloggy jerk guy. I think the kids call that ‘snarky’.
2:20 “Tonight make be unstoppable and I will charm, I will slice, I will dazzle them with my wit.” That’s a fun line. I think I’ve said that to myself before. Pretty sure that prayer went unanswered…
2:54 Video Game Guitar Solo! (brief one)
3:16 This song has potential. It’s going to take a few more listens. Never found out what tasted so good…

Track 5 - Uniform
0:22 Life at Sea-esque (yes, that’s my brother’s old band – they’re playing Darkoom tonight. See you there!)
1:04 This appears to be the slow-builder on the album (the Summertime Rolls if you will). They’re taking their time with this one.
2:03 Maybe it’s just their mellow one? We’ll find out in a few seconds.
2:28 Well, it got faster, but not louder. I want it louder!
2:48 “I could have been a hero! No one can be trusted under the age of 14.” Lots of random voices popping in and out here.
3:25 One loud crunch
3:30 Got three lound crunches
3:42 Gettin’ louder
3:48 Yah!
4:08 “I am a martyr, I just need a motive.”
4:30 More yah! With some wailing guitar!
5:01 I can’t tell how good this one is. Maybe they fooled me, but I like where it went.

Track 6 - On
0:40 Kind of nothing a this point still. Vocals with just some sound behind it (kind of like the opening to track 1)
1:25 Still waiting for something to happen here. “You make my tongue loose. I am home free.”
1:52 This track is called “On”. So far, this is the one where they’re the most off (zing!). It’s just kind of going. The vocals are featured which is a bad idea for Bloc Party. Not that Okereke can’t sing, but they’re not playing to their strengths on this one.
3:12 Nothing new to report
3:39 Started to get going, but all we really added was more strings. We’re still making Okereke’s tongue loose.
4:19 Remember how I mentioned a movie soundtrack earlier? This one will end up in a movie at some point. You’d need some other action going on. I’m merely sitting here.

Track 7 – Where is Home?
0:09 “After the funeral… we sit and reminisce about the past.” All vocals here so far. But I think we’re about to rawk. Please?
1:03 Getting some drums involved. Who’s next?
1:38 “Clinging to her bible and her scapula, and the memory of the way things were…” Good one.
2:08 Some cool dueling melodies on the guitars in the background now. This song is getting darker. That’s where it had to go.
3:27 The band is hitting its stride now – all kinds of action going on from each side of the stereo.

Track 8 – Kreuzberg
0:30 This sounds promising. All guitar and kick drum right now.
1:23 Not rawkin, but we have a good rich sound flowing over us.
3:05 It’s almost too slick now, but I feel like it’s working, even if it may be too poppy for me.
3:35 Oozin’ oohs…
4:45 It’s almost like they’re trying too hard here? I just don’t have a good handle on this one. It’s either cheesy and terrible or passionate and meaningful. Or somewhere in between.

Track 9 – I Still Remember
0:13 Pushing forward again
1:22 Richest sound of the album so far – lots of vocals in the background with a driving beat and guitars workin’ it out.
2:23 This one definitely compares to “Blue Light”. They’re not the same, but there’s a certain connection there.
2:59 “I should’ve kissed you, but I wouldn’t.” Ah, the age old lament. We’ve all heard that one. Wait a sec, that doesn’t make any damn sense!
3:24 “I’d’ve loved you, if you’d asked me.” That was soooo me. Back in my teens, 20s and 30s.
4:13 So this is Bloc Party’s love song. I guess.

Track 10 – Sunday
0:10 Welcome back, tom-toms! We have sorely missed you.
1:10 “I love you in the morning. When you’re still hung over. I love you in the morning. When you’re still strung out.” I’m not sure what this has to do with politics, but I’m guessing it’s about Tony Blair, not Condoleezza Rice.
3:15 Okereke is trying to sound as sweet as can be. He’s actually pulling it off, kind of.
3:37 First real guitar solo, and it’s a little too Eric Johnson-y, but it’s not bad, and fits the song anyway.
4:13 Layers upon layers

Track 11 – SRXT
0:01 Some sounds from a subway? Street? Elevator? Store? Somethin’. Probably the subway.
1:30 Strings coming in. Bells, too.
2:35 Now we get the snare drum and it’s pushing the song along a bit
3:01 SOUND! We’ve been waiting all album for this! Lots of choir vocals and strings and guitar and drums and everything. Thanks for showing up, kids.
4:01 Time to wrap things up “Walkin’ in the countryside, it seems that he winds have stopped. Tell my mother I am sorry and I loved her.”

Initial gut reactions? There’s definitely no “Banquet” on this album, and possibly no “Like Eating Glass” either. But at first blush, the songs are pretty good. There is a whole lotta love being mentioned, particularly on the second half of the album. It seemed like the energy of Silent Alarm is somewhat missing from this one, and that’s a shame. I feel like the energy is what made their first release so good. Perhaps with all their success, they have lost their edge. I thought they were at their best when trying to make a political statement. It’s way possible that I was anticipating more in the same vein, but they have gone a new direction that will take some more time to get. Some of the songs have a lot of potential, and I am looking forward to future listens. Thumbs up so far. Go buy it while it’s cheap.

Join us in two weeks for All of a Sudden I Miss Everyone.

OWR: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

99: Marvelous

Dashboard Professional

I'm busy as hell today, so don't expect much from me. However, I recommend heading over to Modest Mouse's website and checking out their new single, "Dashboard." It will play on repeat if you simply go there. You will listen again and again, and you will love it. Their album doesn't come out until March 20th, so this is really just a tease, but a worthwhile one...

OWR: American Splendor

90: Exceptional

Schwarzenegger Sunday: The Terminator

First of all, let me apologize for being late. Consider this the very first Schwarzenegger Monday. I haven’t received mail since last Wednesday and I’m beginning to think that I have done something to offend my letter carrier. Consequently, Raw Deal will have to wait until next time as I still have not received it. You’d think in an election year, Daley would make damn sure everything is working like a well-oiled machine here in Chicago. Er – was that a poor choice of words? Anyway, I snagged a working copy of The Terminator, so come with me if you want to live…

For an overview of Schwarzenegger Sunday, check out the Marching Orders to the right. Note – there will always be spoilers.

While Conan may be the role that put Schwarzenegger on the map, this is the one that made him famous. We immediately learn that “some time in the future,” after a nuclear war wipes out nearly all of humanity, machines take over the earth, attempting to complete the annihilation. Humans have fought back under the leadership and heroics of John Connor. To quell the revolution before it begins, the machines send back an assassin to kill Connor’s mother, Sarah (Linda Hamilton). That assassin, played by Arnold, is a cyborg called Cyberdyne Systems Model 101, aka The Terminator. The humans send a soldier back to aid Sarah in Reese (Michael Biehn). The Terminator kills a lot of people, but Sarah is saved. Reese is also killed, but not before he is able to impregnate Sarah with the boy who will grow up to be the man who will send him to his demise.

Quality of “Ahnold” lines: Since the Terminator is a cyborg, he’s not exactly into banter. However, Arnold’s accent is still pretty thick at this point, many of his lines stick out. Here are a few highlights: Upon meeting the punks at the start of the film, “Your clothes… give them to me.” In the gun shop, the shopkeeper says, “You can’t do that!” Arnold’s response is “Wrong.” When he climbs up onto the semi, he simply says, “Get out.” 7

Plethora of “Ahnold” lines: Again, not many here. And it’s not like the other characters picked up the slack, although Lance Henriksen has some quality back and forth with Paul Winfield. 2

“I’ll be back.”:

This is the one that started the category. When first seeing the film, you know something big is coming. You don’t expect it to be this:
The Terminator delivers this line with a deadpan style, but it’s an awfully determined deadpan. 10
Smarmy Villain: The smarmiest guy in the movie is Earl Boen as Dr. Peter Silberman. However, he’s far more buffoonish than smarmy, and more comic relief than villain. n/a

Rough and Tumble Henchman: You can’t get more rough and tumble than the Terminator. And I suppose you could argue that he’s a henchman for the machines, but again, this doesn’t really apply. n/a

Diminutive Sidekick: The only person who intentionally assists the Terminator is the gun shop owner, played by Dick Miller who’s listed at 5’5”. But he’s hardly a sidekick. n/a

Rejected hot love interest: Ginger is played by Bess Motta, who at the time was dubbed the “Aerobics Queen”. She’s Sarah Connor’s roommate who is permanently attached to her headphones. The Terminator dispatches her quickly to focus his main attention on Sarah. Yes, I realize I’m reaching here. Plus, she’s really not much hotter than Hamilton. n/a

Not nearly hot enough love interest: Linda Hamilton is pretty enough, but not a stunning beauty, either (nor is she made up to be so in this movie). Of course, Terminators don’t “feel pity, or remorse, or fear.” And they certainly don’t feel love or lust, despite whatever fixation exsists. n/a

Arnold yelling: Sadly, n/a

Arnold cursing: Arnold drops a great one as he is tending to his wounds. A janitor asks, “You got a dead cat in there, or what?” From a list of possible response, the Terminator chooses the following: “Fuck you, Asshole.” However, Sarah is able to trump him with a superb end line: “You’re terminated, fucker!” 9

Arnold crazyface: Again, he’s a cyborg. They don’t exactly make faces. This is the best I could do, and it’s with a lot of makeup. 2

Superfluous Explosions: Despite all the laser fights shown in Reese’s flashbacks from the future, it appears we’re going to avoid any kind of major explosions until the very end of the picture when Reese manages to put some homemade plastique in the tail pipe of a gas truck. They do blow the thing up on film not just once, nor twice, but three full times. 5

Director: James Cameron teamed up with Arnold again on Terminator 2: Judgment Day and a final time on True Lies. Cameron claims he nearly starved to death after he was twice fired from Piranha 2 and the entire production had to wait until Arnold became free of his Conan commitments to make this film.

Franco Columbu: He shows up in a future-flashback as a Terminator that infiltrates the human shelter. 8
Sven Ole-Thorsen: n/a

Shirtless Arnold: Arnold goes well beyond shirtless when he first arrives in the picture, showing up totally nude before he can acquire clothing. He then wanders around in the moonlight, flexing. 8

Severely brutal killing of rough and tumble henchman: The most severe killing in the movie is probably when Brian Thompson, playing Punk #2, has his heart ripped out of his chest at the top of the movie. n/a
Even more severely brutal killing of villain: The Terminator is crushed in what can only be described as a hydraulic smashing machine. Not that brutal, especially since it’s metal on metal violence at this point. n/a

Implausibly plausible plot: I condensed things as much as I could in the intro paragraph, and I’m not going to try to rehash them all now. There’s a lot to buy into here. However, somehow Cameron makes us believe it all. I think the key to the whole thing is Reese. More on this in a minute. 10

Ambiguous ending: We get a clean resolution to this little part of the story, but so much remains unanswered. All we know is that Sarah Connor is driving off into a matte painting somewhere in Mexico. Two sequels later, we still don’t know how it’s all going to play out. While there are unanswered questions, the ending still feels like a conclusion. 8

Given the small budget, this is an extremely well-crafted movie. Michael Biehn is absolutely superb as Reese. The only way this movie comes off is if he nails his part and he did. Linda Hamilton is equally up to the task. A lot of what we do here on Schwarzenegger Sunday is compromised by the fact that Arnold is playing a villain, and a fully automated one at that. After this movie, he vowed never to play a villain again – a pledge he lived up to until Batman and Robin (I pray that there will not be time enough to review that one!). So perhaps the criteria don’t really fit, which is why you see liberties taken and a glut of “n/a’s.” Overall, the movie is ingenious and ridiculously re-watchable, and it paved the way for the successful careers of both James Cameron and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

All the Schwarzenegger Sundays:
Predator
Raw Deal
The Running Man
True Lies
Twins
Pumping Iron
Commando
Conan The Barbarian
Total Recall
Terminator 2: Judgment Day
Last Action Hero
Roundup, Part I
Roundup, Part II
The George W. Bush Administration

Pinebender w/ Retribution Gospel Choir and Artsy Golfer at the Empty Bottle

I have been to a lot of shows over the years. Hundreds and hundreds. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a band that played as loud as Pinebender did on Friday night. My goodness. For some silly reason, I did not wear earplugs for either of the opening acts, who were somewhat loud in their own right. Expecting a louder set from Pinebender, I popped them in, but everything sounded twice as loud from that point on anyway. I seriously thought the bricks might start falling off the walls. Their slow, fuzzy drone shook the building, and all three band members were clearly enjoying the hell out of themselves. I don’t know how they were doing this with just two guitars and a drum kit. Various members of the audience were air guitaring – I saw at least three which has to be some sort of Empty Bottle record. An air drummer was also spotted as well as some sort of near Riverdance hop-stepping. My only explanation for this is that the extended roar coming from the stage overpowered the audience and made some of them go a bit wacky. To be honest, I was kind of feeling it myself. It was almost like being on drugs. I missed a good deal of Artsy Golfer, but they sounded good. Retribution Gospel Choir’s sound was kind of all over the place. I don’t know if they’re trying to find themselves or that’s what they’re going for. Either way, it worked. They sang a lot of harmonies and all were pretty much on point. I don’t know much about them beyond some sort of Low affiliation, but I’d be up for checking them out again. The thing I’ll always remember about the night was Pinebender’s power and the fact that all three of ‘em will surely be deaf by age 40.

Bear Down Chicago Bears

That's right. Crown their asses!

OWR: Crash

28: Inane

I've had enough of these damn horror movies

You’ve no doubt seen the commercial with Zachary Knighton tied between what is presumably the cab and payload of a semi. The ad abruptly ends as the cab starts to move forward, his girlfriend shrieks, and he screams, “I don’t want to die!” The first urge upon viewing this is to debate whether this would actually kill a person. I’m guessing his thumbs would be stripped off well before any internal organs received any severe damage. But that is beside the point. This is a remake of a successful and seemingly well-liked movie from 1986. That version, featuring C. Thomas Howell, Rutger Hauer and Jennifer Jason Leigh ended up with a domestic gross roughly equal to its budget and is cruising along with a 7.0 rating on the IMDB. The new version comes in at a 5.0, a number that is only likely to drop (as all IMDB ratings do for brand new movies). This past weekend, the remake of The Hitcher made 3.6 million dollars, bringing its two-week total to 13.4 million. And while I have no idea what the budget was for this movie, I would have to assume that it is somewhere in the $20-30 MM range, meaning that the generated revenue is not likely to match the costs. The “budget” figure does not include advertising expense which, in this case, had to be sizable. I don’t watch much TV, but I must have seen over fifty commercials for this movie. Based on audience response, critical review, and any other reasonable measure, this film is garbage. So why am I picking on it? Because it’s a prime example of the crap we have to continually deal with in our nation’s movie theaters and during our nation’s commercial breaks.

If you’re expecting me to make an impassioned “In Defense Of: Silence of the Lambs”, you’re not going to get it here. Yes, that is arguably the greatest horror movie of all time. Sometimes I begin to tell myself that it’s simply an excellent thriller that happens to be extremely scary. But then I remember a head in formaldehyde, Hannibal Lecter wearing other people’s faces, and Anthony Heald’s lecherous warden. It definitely goes beyond the thriller genre and into horror. As perfect as that movie is, the spate of horror films we get now are appallingly awful. But the genesis of the current run of these films is not Silence of the Lambs. This all began with Scream. And honestly, I have to blame myself a bit. When I was in college, my housemate was doing an internship for Miramax, promoting films on campus. This included work for Dimension Films, the subsidiary company that produced Scream. My friend was in a minor car accident in Canada and could not make it back in time for her scheduled Scream promotion, so another housemate and I took care of it for her. All we knew about this movie was what we had gleaned from the trailer which consisted of the Drew Barrymore scene at the beginning of the film. Based on the information we’d received, we were certain that the movie was terrible, but followed through with the promotion anyway, smirking ever so slightly as we urged our fellow students to see the movie. Little did we know that it would go on to become Dimension’s biggest hit ever, grossing over $160 MM worldwide. The thing is, Scream was a joke. It was meant to nail shut the coffin on a genre which was dead at that point anyway. Wes Craven directed it, claiming it would be his last horror movie ever. He was all set to get going on Music of the Heart, you see. So rather than defend Silence of the Lambs, perhaps I should be here to condemn Scream. But again, proliferation was not Scream’s intent, regardless of its own abysmal sequels.

One could argue that following 9/11 and the continual carnage we see from Iraq, people feel connected to violence and want to experience it as fantasy in their movies. There probably is something to that. As violence escalates in real life, we see it escalate in fantasy life as well. Perhaps if people feel that violence is fantastical, they don’t really have to deal with what they’re seeing on the news. The president talks about the sacrifice people endure by having to watch violence on the news, but if they can convince themselves that it’s not actually real, wouldn’t that make things that much easier? Perhaps if they can see a different monster batter and bloody helpless victims each week, they don’t feel as connected to what’s really happening in the world. So movie studios think that we’re either too connected to violence or not connected enough, but they’re damn well going to exploit that feeling, either way. They’re even trying to convince you that crocodile adventure movies are horror flicks these days (as if casting Orlando Jones wasn’t scary enough).

Look, I’m not naïve. I realize that these movies are cheap to produce and they’re largely selling them to teenagers who are hoping to escape from their angst-filled existences. But I’m sick of my TV turning into a howling strobe light every time I try to watch a basketball game. Really, I wouldn’t care if they made twice as many dumb horror movies, as long as they wouldn’t try to get me to watch them. I’m not going to. And not because I’m frightened of the terror they bring, but because they’re obviously horrendous. I’m not even going to get into the whole “what about the kids” thing. If I were a kid trying to watch the NFC championship game and one of these ads came on, I would probably go hide in the closet. But since I don’t have any kids, I’m merely offended by the lack of taste and artistic merit. America must be ready for a new trend in low-quality, low-budget movies. Can we get a Porky’s remake or something? Actually, please forget I said that.